When I was a kid, I had grass cutting jobs. So I have a degree of professional insight into ‘lawn technology’. I always mowed a lawn by starting on the perimeter and spiraling in toward the center.
My neighbor mows his lawn on a diagonal!
*thinking: “what a jerk”.*
But then I reconsidered…
You and your spouse have been selected from an impressive, elite list of candidates to serve as judges for the first-ever Drews Silver Ladle (and silver pie pan) Competition.
On Saturday February 22 Culinary Artists from the Drews family will compete for coveted prizes in the category of soup and pie and you have been selected as "surprise celebrity judge". It is your discriminating palate that has elevated you to this lofty selection.
Please see the announcement below that was sent to competitors a couple weeks ago:
(Continues after Announcement)
ANNOUNCING THE FIRST ANNUAL DREWS SILVER LADLE AWARD
Winter sucks but it's the perfect time for soup so test your culinary skills in a fun, family competition and help crown the first Drews Silver Ladle winner Saturday February 22. Whether your specialty is chowder, bisque, stew, broth, consomme, gumbo, chili, gazpacho, vichyssoise or plain ol' soup - bring it to Lynne and Jeff's and you could be the big winner.
When the bowls are clean, we'll move to dessert and the competition for the first annual Silver Pie Pan trophy for the best pie maker. Fruit pie, cow pie, cream pie, pot pie, mud pie - - we don't care! Bring it and you could be the winner!
Keep in mind - bring your own garnishes - if your soup needs cheese or onions or croutons, supply it. If your pie calls for whipped cream or raspberry sauce - bring it. You should also bring your own ladle because no one has that many ladles! Since we hope to have several soups and pies, you needn't bring a lot of any one thing. Be prepared to take leftovers home.
Plan your arrival between 5:00 and 6:00. Competition will begin promptly whenever I decide.
Let me know by return email if you'll be joining us --- and if you know, tell me if you'll be entering the soup or pie competition.
The Invitation (continued)
Did you see rule 4 ... the one about "special guest judges"? That's you! Judges will also be a SURPRISE so I ask that you NOT tell any of the potential competitors about your appointment. By return email, please let me know if you are available. Surprises, being what they are, require you to arrive AFTER the competitors, so plan to get here about 6:30 or so. We will do our best to arrange for VIP parking near our home. Keep in mind that a snow event of almost any size could cause a postponement so keep my phone number handy.
Hope you can make it and please --- protect your palate for the big night!
Dear Mr. Drews,
We are fascinated by the Drews Silver Ladle competition, especially the potential for the 'reality' market, one which is wholly under served in your neighborhood demographic.
We are also humbled by your consideration, although I note that not a single person of normal girth was selected as judge. Was that a requirement?
Nevertheless we are honored by your invitation and accept with enthusiasm.
The Boss came from a masonry family, father and brothers were bricklayers. The Boss's firm did a lot of schools. Masonry schools. We only thought in masonry modules - 8", 1'-4", etc.
On the way back to the office, I said I had THE SOLUTION. The Boss bit. I pitched the idea that we would use stone carvings of cows, produce, chickens to give the departments some character. I thought my facetiousness was transparent, but I was quizzed about how we would get the carvings. "I'll bet the monument company down the street from the office could handle it. Think of all the shapes they incorporate into tombstones." The Associate knows I'm joking and doesn't bother to say what a crap idea it is.
The Boss being a man of action called the grocery store owner and pitched my idea that afternoon.
"Well, Rick, they are on-board with your idea. Give the monument guys a call and see what they will need from us."
"Boss, you know I was just putting you on about the stone chicken, right?"
A 'Stone Chicken Idea' quickly became a thing.
orig post date APR 2013
Well, if you live long enough you get to find out how stupid some of your ideas are.
When I designed our house 31 years ago, I saved about $75 by using pull chain lights in three closets. The savings was the cost of wall switches and additional wiring that I didn't have installed. It was probably less than that. Today you can buy a pull chain light fixture for about $4.00 at Home Depot, so you can see we were going 'big budget'.
So what's the big deal?
They don't last forever.
And they are just as much trouble to replace as a $500 fixture. But you don't have a switch so unless you want to get into that, you end up with ... another pull chain fixture for your trouble.
"But, they are so simple; what could go wrong?"
1] The little mechanical chain operated switch breaks.
2] Most of 'chain' is actually a cotton cord. On a ceiling-mounted fixture, the cord 'burns out' from touching the lamp. (Mount to the wall or add real chain until past the lamp.)
Wiring is simple without a wall switch - cheaper by $50 or so. But if you want 'cheap' or the aesthetic, use a wall switch. You have been clued-in.
Side issue - why the f$!k can't anyone make a 100w incandescent equivalent CFL that is actually equivalent instead of 20% less bright. I am about two more trips to the hardware store away from having memorized the lumens I want. I'm sure the NSA is behind this.